Nighttime Personalities Take Aim At Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Immigration Plan

TV's prominent entertainers spent their evening criticizing ex-President Donald Trump's recently launched visa initiative, labeled the "golden visa," characterizing it as a blatant pay-for-access scheme for the rich.

Stephen Colbert's Sarcastic Take

Opening his program, Stephen Colbert presented a satirical Christmas jingle directed at the president. "He's compiling a list, reviewing it twice, and then handing that list to the agents at ICE," he intoned. "Donald Trump ... ruins all he comes into contact with."

The subject was the new plan which enables foreign nationals to buy U.S. legal status for an investment of a million dollars, with a "platinum" option for 5 million. A government website pledges approval "faster than ever."

"One note here to rich immigrants: prior to you fork over the cash, what about Canada?" Colbert joked.

He pointed out that the program is also meant to "squeeze cash" from firms looking to hire foreign workers, requiring large costs. "That's a lot of fees, however if you enroll, you also get free accommodation at a property of your selection – if it's the that one hotel," he added.

"Unprecedented vetting the U.S. government has ever done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to make sure these individuals absolutely are eligible to be in America."

"That's important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert deadpanned. "First question: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Roast

On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"This is a card that will let rich foreigners to live here," he said. "For a million dollars, you get official visitor status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one serious crime of your choice."

"Maybe it's time to change that poem on the Statue of Liberty – never mind your huddled masses. Give us a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel teased the simplicity of the form, saying it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He lamented that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Indeed, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel joked. "That's what Jesus constantly said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Affordability Issues

Meanwhile, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's plunging poll ratings during financial anxiety. "The public gave Donald Trump a another term because they were upset about the economy," he noted.

This week, in a bid to address affordability, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a display of grocery items, where he behaved strangely to boxes of cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my cottage and have a lot of fun," Trump remarked. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a long time."

"He is so extremely weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What exactly happens with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by mocking right-leaning media arguments of Trump's financial performance. "Maybe instead of complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy like what FIFA did," he joked.